Housing Search 09

M.A.S.H.

So what will it be? Will I live in a mansion, apartment, shack or house? Well I would like to cast my vote for mansion, but I'm afraid that i will land in the oft forgotten last option CBB (card board box). That's real talk!

Well maybe not CBB but srsly this task is getting daunting! There was this one house that I liked over in Bed Stuy, that was listed at 349k, it had a bunch of garbage in the font and back yards and a broken sky light, and some broken windows but needed minimal repairs. It was a distress sale with a bunch of leans on the house, and the man selling the house did leave immediately after the Sunday showing to go buy a tall boy of beer, but I was still feeling optimistic!

(how fitting, when I'm living on the streets b/c I can't find a house I will be right there brown bagging it along side this shadster.) No matter how many shady people I met in this life, morning beer is always unsettling to me.

Probably against my better judgment I called the real estate broker who was handling the sale of that house a few weeks later to see if this house was still on the market. He told me that there was a "slight change" to the property. He tole me that unbeknownst to the drunk gentleman that showed us the home. One of his partners had taken out a secret second morgage on the house, and that they owed 50k more to the bank than they had realized. SECRET MORGAGE?! Now don't get me wrong, I believe in The Secret, it has basically been responsable for every lucky aspect of my life, I also really like secrets in gereal, keeping them, telling them, etc. However I DO NOT condone SECRET MORGAGES! Thats just crazy town! And its totally indicative to what has caused our country to be in this economic pickle! Giving shady day drunk dudes free money and pulling equity out of homes that haven't been paid off at at, and are sitting empty over in the hood. So he told me that due to this revelation, they had to raise the price 50k over night to cover this secret mortgage.

Don't get me wrong, the house was a deal at 349k, b/c I was planning on using my schrewd bargaining skills to get him down to 320k. Now 320 would have been a steal. But at 400k, that house was FAR from a steal. NEways, the real estate dude was telling me all this at like 10am on a Monday morning over the telephone. He then told me about some fictional buyers who, before they had raised the price had make an offer for 390k but lost their financing. Which I guess was supposed to make me feel like some other suckers were willing to pay that amount so I should fall in line and pay that much. But who in their right minds would place an offer on a house that is 50k more than the asking price after its been sitting littered w/ trash for over a year on the market? I hate it when not sneaky people try to be sneaky. It ends up just being kind of pathetic. So I tried to politely ease my way off of the phone w/o calling anyone out on their failed shiestyness. I mean I don't get my jollies by trying to make shiesty real estate dudes feel bad about themselves, I just wanted nothing to do with this shady deal. So I told him "I would call Him." You know like, over the phone break up style, but he didn't take the hint and he was like, "Great! can you call me as soon as Wednesday to get a deal started?!" and then I had to keep it real w/ him and say, "Yea....um ...actually probably not. " Its not you its me! But he seemed to get the hint, and he let me off the phone w/ o too much further squirming. Some one needed to show that guy that "He's just not into you!" movie! But I digress, I will probably wait until it gets turned over to the bank and buy it for like a dollar. B/c ice water flows through my veins and I am a schrewd buissness woman of the 90s!


Maybe if I buy it off the bank for a dollar, they will give it to the day drunk guy so he can buy a frosty brew.
Remind me to wear my power suit more.


Anyway, that was a minor set back, and upon looking at other homes, I have seen other houses, with way more space in them so let the search continue! And I do plan on actively using "The Secret" and a "Hobo's pocket full of hope" to find me my dream home.